Falling...

I've been pretty good for a year, only getting depressed around my period but things are looking dark and dismal. I have been seriously looking for work for over a month and haven't even gotten a nibble. Money is non-existent. The men in my life have almost completely disappeared. Not that I didn't expect that, they were only here for sex. If my life isn't a free wheeling good time then see ya. TM is sick again, I know as a friend I should be concerned but I'm just tired. I just want to sit and stare at the walls and wonder why I keep ending up in the same place when I try so hard not to. I'm behind in school, don't know if I'll catch up this time, but does it really matter, I don't foresee a job coming from this work. I could of been looking for a job months ago instead of wasting my time on this crap that doesn't seem to me anything as far as jobs are concerned. I know I don't feel anymore qualified to do anything. I need to sleep but at night is when the crying starts. Sometimes I wish someone could hear me, though I always hide in shame. How dare I be depressed, I've only lost everything I've worked for since I was 14 including my self-respect.